Sometimes we are ashamed to admit it because it sounds too vain. Certainly too vain for a person who calls themselves a mother. Society makes us believe that as mothers we are supposed to happily sacrifice everything, including our bodies, and never feel an ounce of sadness of what we once saw as our normal changing into something unknown.
Well, I will be courageous in this moment and say I hated my postpartum body after I came home from the hospital. It was 2013, and I was 50 lbs heavier, and the bump that hid how bad things really had gotten was no longer there. Now, my baby and I were in separate bodies and I was horrified by what was left behind.
For some reason, I though that once the baby was delivered I would look very close to my old self. At least that is what a lot of new, young moms on Instagram looked like. Why not me? I had always been a petite person. I couldn’t imagine myself any other way. Yet, there I was…with a wide body, stretch marks and a squishy belly. I had a double chin, my face still looked swollen and my thighs touched each other tightly. Who was this person?
I’m not saying all of this to fat-shame myself (others did that for me back then). I just want to be honest about what was going through my head and what I did to help change that. Acceptance was the first step, self love, and then goal setting. It took 4 months for me to actually reach this point. I was so upset about my new weight that I began to believe that I would never return to my original size. I gave away a ton of my clothing from my pre-baby days. I felt like I was saying something bad about myself after doing so. It felt like I was saying I wasn’t capable of setting a difficult weight loss goal and achieving it. It felt like I was calling myself a loser. This really woke me up.
Here are is the mental process I took to create actionable steps to lose the baby weight postpartum:
- Affirmations
It’s important to be gentle with yourself first. Praise all the things that you truly believe you are. For me, I was a hard worker, a dedicated mother, and a great friend. I thought of past successes, both small and large, to rebuild my confidence. I praised my new body for helping me bring forth my beautiful son. I started to label my body as curvy and sexy. I began to wear my makeup again and walk with my head held high. It helped me as I transitioned to the next step.
2. Be Honest With Yourself
I hated the new weight. So, in all my gentle talk I had to admit that I was most comfortable at a smaller size. I declared what that size was, and I also declared that no matter where I started from that this weight was possible for me or anyone who truly wanted it. From there I thought about a reasonable timeline and took action. It’s ok to both love yourself as you are right now, and set goals for improvements where you see fit, regardless of what others think.
3. Take Realistic Action
It’s all about the daily habits. I tried to workout, eat more fruits and vegetables, and always stay on my feet. I did not check the scale everyday. I let my clothes tell me if I went down in weight first, then the scale confirmed it. This way I didn’t have to feel defeated if I wasn’t losing the same amount of weight every week. Also, I meditated on peace and self-acceptance. If you love your body it will love you back. At first, I thought I was lying to myself when I focused on how much I was loving my body when I didn’t like the way that it looked at the time. But, over the course of weeks and months, it began to transform into my truth. As my belief changed so did my body.
Between month 4 and month 9 postpartum I lost all of my extra baby weight. I went from about 160 LBS to 110 LBS. I share this story, because I want my mom friends here to know that you are not alone if you are not thrilled about your new body as a first time mom. And you are completely normal if you don’t look like an Instagram Model post birth either. We are all so different. Anything that you want to change is within your power to change it. I’m here for you. Leave a comment in the section below if you can relate, and we will chat soon.
